Ive been a big proponent of teaching my kids the value of family. I come from a very broken family and find it extremely important to teach my kids to take care of each other. I won’t bore you with my personal history of adoption, multiple divorced parents and evil step mothers. There are years of not communicating with parents, step parents and siblings. I want my kids to stick together. I constantly ask them what the most important thing in life is. They quickly respond with “Family”.
I’ve managed to do several things different than my “father”. I married the perfect person for me the first time. I actually stuck around to raise my kids. I have supported the mother of my children. My kids are growing up in one house, one school system and have built lasting friendships in our community. I feel good in knowing my wife and I dated, got married and then had kids. I think there is something to that system that works. Having a marriage, kids and a home were not coincidence for us. My wife and I have planned and worked for it. Families are assembled in many non traditional ways. Please don’t mistake that for a judgment. How a family is built is not as important as how it stays together.
My wife and I try to set the example. We take care of each other and volunteer in our small town. We include our kids in the volunteering. The small town I live in is full of families that stick together. Generations of family working, playing and growing together. By helping in my community, I have been repaid with witnessing multiple good examples of families that stick together. My community has helped me grow. I am quite envious of how these families all depend on each other. I want my kids to make depending on each other second nature. I want to be in their lives forever. I want them to understand the value of helping those outside our family. Part of having good neighbors is being a good neighbor. My kids will be good neighbors.
I wish it was easier to get my siblings, parents and myself on board with this theology toward ourselves. I am not sure how to teach this to the parts of my family that are distant or non existent from my life. I’ve made some attempts in the past with short lived success. The relationships seem to slip back into a funk of no communication or concern. I’ve had my own father hide when he married my one of my step mothers. There is even a chance he has done this a second time. Even serious life threatening medical issues are kept as information not worth communicating in my family. It’s sad but I have given up all hope of mending this area. Some one else will need to step up this time.
I will do everything in my power to help my kids support each other. I could not imagine my kids being as distant from me as most of my family is with myself. Family values are still alive in my house.
Thanks for reading. I hope You can find inspiration in my story.
Have you hugged your kids today?
Marc in Ohio